The Eating of The Haggis

It is after 9 p.m. on a Saturday night and I have recently finished my first taste of The Haggis.

My boyfriend is from Scotland, not far from Glasgow. We recently merged households and I've been doing a lot of the cooking lately. Trying to be a good girlfriend, I have been trying to cook Scottish meals for him. Some of have been successful... some have been completely gaggy. We order pizza or go out for Mexican on those nights.

We are friends with several Scots families, and the ladies have been telling me about all sorts of delightful, delicious dishes that he probably misses from home. Tatties, neeps, tablet, scones and potato scones among some of the most often mentioned. (Translated: Tatties = mashed potatoes, Neeps = mashed turnips, Tablet = a sort of fudge (fabulous!), Potato scones and scones = a sort of American-type biscuit.) But all of the Scots agree that Haggis is one of the most tasty Scottish delicacies to be had (with a nice whiskey sauce).

Tonight, my loved one decided to make dinner for me. Earlier in the week I attempted to make neeps and potato scones for him and failed in a big way.

He went to the market for messages (Scots for groceries) and picked up some turnips, white potatoes, heavy whipping cream and canned haggis. He spent a good hour in the kitchen peeling, chopping, stirring and whipping. In the meantime, I read the ingredients on the can of haggis: Lambs liver, lambs heart, pin oats, curds and whey, eye of newt and gorgonberries (I added those last few) - and began thinking of what I had in the cupboard to eat instead.

He dished up the meal and brought it out. I recognized the neeps and tatties - they looked okay. Next to them was a slop of something that looked like dog food with little white pebbly things throughout. He must have been watching my face closely. He said it was great and he had been eating my cookery so I had to try it. A small forkful of potatoes - okay. Another small forkful of turnips - tasted a little like cauliflower.

A tiny forkful of haggis.... I put it on the very farthest point on the back of my tongue and swallowed. Gulp. He laughs at me and tells me to "TASTE IT." I could taste it on the back of my tongue. I just didn't want to taste it in my whole mouth. It reminded me a little bit of canned corned beef hash. I put another tiny forkful on the back of my tongue.... gluck.. i can taste the liver... I do not like liver. I kind of want to throw up.

I continue with small forkfuls of the meal, including maybe five more tiny bits of haggis and I can't eat anymore. I look over and I see he has finished eating and a sizable portion of haggis is left on his plate. He says it was pretty strong. He also says it will be six months before he eats it again. I give silent thanks to my Maker (I also plan to get very ill an hour before the next haggis meal).

Twenty minutes after I've finished eating, my stomach starts to growl and gurgle loudly. It doesn't look like I need to take any Metamucil tonight. I also feel a little sick. Pass the tequila.

Click on the photos for larger images (especially for the ingredients and serving suggestions on the side of the can).

Love,
Glancy